colorgenics september edition

Date: 9/15/2009
Colorgenics Number: 17325460

At this time you are feeling 'uptight' and you are urgently in need of rest and relaxation; but perhaps even more than that you need to overcome that feeling that you have been 'hard done by' and treated with a complete lack of consideration. Maybe you have, but whatever may have been the cause of your inherent anxiety, you regard the situation as intolerable. Your are, however, sufficiently competent to turn that situation around - you have overcome similar problems in the past, and really this one isn't too different.

* so do i need to loosen up?, i really need that, but where should i go? what should i do? i guess i'll wait till sept. 20 and i'll go out by myself and do something. this is always true...treated with a complete lack of consideration...the world seems its gonna kill me or something. yes it is intolerable...i'm not sure if it is a whatever..i believe it is a whoever caused this inherent anxiety. please leave me alone.*

You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.

* this i don't really believe...leader? wtf. it only happens when i don't have much choice...but there is always another choice. not just me...everyone wants full control *

In spite of the fact that you believe that your hopes and ideas are realistic, it is hard for you to accept that your needs and desires are misunderstood by almost everyone within your sphere of influence and there is no-one to turn to or rely on. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you will have to make the best of things as they are.

* it's funny that it's true...i'm hardly ever understood. yeah. there is noone to rely on, not my parents, not my friends...noone. i'm also an egomaniac..so ok that's fine, let me die alone. *

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

* stress is the biggest part of me...and it's taking it's toll. continuous frustration that is rooting back from my childhood...yeah..i'm already a shell of my former self. i'm looking..always looking...i just never find it. yeah..i have high standards...i always want to be different, i don't like being like everybody else. *

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.

* things are very chaotic right now...i don't have that stable and peaceful condition...i don't think i'll ever *


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in closing:
i have a feeling this has been my result before. i guess things haven't changed since then.

kugatsunanoka

i'm currently on another decision-making period... like what should i do with my f*cking life now, that i've left ittc. i guess this is what's best for me i guess, although it might also be bad for me..i don't know. i want to go out to the world for now, and forget all this crap i've been through. i should just go ahead and do what i do best.


in other news.

i never thought dissidia would be such a hardcore game, wow..it's cool. i'm really skeptic about kuya pael's psp..it's a 3000 model..and as we all know, if you brick it..it's done for good. it's difficult to follow such instructions unless he is willing to take risk for it. he should've asked me about the other models. it doesn't matter if it's the new model or not...

just bought ink as well. 1240 for color (octagon sm southmall), 950 for black (some store starmall).

i'm continuing japanese as we speak. it's very much enjoyable XD

thinking of fixing this blog too. i've tried css for plurk well i guess it can also work here. but i'll set a different date for that.