2:22 AM

Still watching So Long, Mr. Despair...i have 30 hours to complete with work though~..ganbatte ore~

monthly colorgenics. 3 times already and it's been telling a lot of truths..i wonder..

Date: 8/4/2009
Colorgenics Number: 70354621

Everyone feels despondent at times and you are no exception. You are feeling so depressed because it seems that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and you don't quite know which way to turn. So like the proverbial ostrich you are trying to bury your head in the sand. But that won't work - you have to face reality.

You enjoy taking part in anything that may constitute fun and excitement. You need to be stimulated and need to feel that 'Life is worth living' and you are awaiting that stimulation and you don't particularly care where it comes from!

You are a dreamer and you seek perfection in any relationship that you may establish. Some of your ideas and standards are over the top so it may be a good idea to review your perception of life and accept people for what they are - not for what you would like them to be.

At this moment in time you feel as if you have lost the strength of will to contend with existing problems and difficulties which appear to you as deliberate opposition. You are trying to stand your ground but the pressures are intolerable. You would like some co-operation from those around you but it's not forthcoming so you feel that, in its absence, there is nothing you can do to improve the current situation. You would like nothing better than to 'get away from it all'.

Anxiety and a restless dissatisfaction, either with circumstances or with unfulfilled physical or emotional needs are producing considerable stress. You react to this by blaming everyone but yourself. You are aggressive, sarcastic and embittered. Try to be understanding and a little flexible - it will pay dividends in the long run. and it could well be that accordingly all of your dreams could soon be realised.

After 2 years.

Drum Roll Please! Well, I'm back and I don't really know what to say or talk about lately but I just want to say I'm back. LOL Perhaps I'm bored of blogging since it's not as quick as tweeting like what most people do nowadays but I guess when I want to just gather my thoughts and put it somewhere this is the best place for it. I've just realized I'm taking care of 3 blogs..or is it? I've lost count. Each one has a different purpose..or let's say a different character that I portray. There's that cool gamer guy Skullgarry..the pseudo-intellectual-philosophical Pravin and this guy right here..that cliche of a walking romantic tragedy/frustration that never seems to get a girlfriend because he's fat. Yes, that is you..and me..Mr. Starwind. So why did I come back after 2 years of absence..it kind of occurred to me that I'm at this phase in my life where I need to know whether I should come or go..whether I should continue making a fool out of myself or whether I should try as hard as I can to finally get that special someone. I won't be writing about this anyway if I'm not having these frustrations instead I'd probably be writing about tips on how to make a lady fall for you LOL. Anyway, I'll be brief on this one..in few months time I will know if what I've been doing for the past 5 years was a waste of time or whether it's going to be even better 5 years from now with the same person in mind. I know I only have 1 chance at this, and if she puts me on the friend zone again..then it's the end zone for me. Either way there's 2 sides of the coin..I'll know soon. If I come back here with a broken heart, then at least I fought for what I wanted and what I believed in and I will not have any regrets in life. I will now instead plan ahead because the 2nd part of my 20's is coming soon. Sincerely, Mr. Starwind